life continues on...

life's really actually pretty easy right now. my life consists of doing 42+ hours of school, chores, church, the occasional run and being a klutz. as usual. ......uh. yeah. i need to get involved in another campaign. and yet it feels mad crazy busy. what is up with this?

oh yeah. then there's the big decisions to make. the pondering of stuff. {111 days til i'm 18. aahhh!!!!} the praying and searching. debating stuff, tossing ideas about life around. dreaming. hoping. wishing.

and school. i'm officially convinced that it's the government's plan to try to kill us all and make the earth go extinct. {don't tell them that it's not working too well... the world's ending this year anyhow.}





  anyhow. i found one of my new hobbies. going to this place. climbing on these rocks. {having a few heart-stopping slips.} and not dying. they say the not dying part is good...if you've ever been to Gettysburg, it's kind of like some of the rock formations there, but almost better. the indians went up here for many years and used it for "spying." you can see for miles.

after climbing up the front side of this, we then realized that there was a back side which might have been safer to go up....so we got pics from that side.

michelle is my reenacting buddy and we've decided to go exploring together. she says my dare-devil-ness makes her do more stuff...

i fell off the top of that...landed on a ledge and was like "oh, i'll take a pic." {there was a good many feet to fall after that, had i fallen more.}

this is the cliff that i slipped off the top of...

this is looking down from one of the huge rock formations

i discovered that this place is awesome to go to if you want to work on getting over fear of heights...and hope to go back sometime kind of soon. we shall see. it's amazing how much fun you can have outside in your area. i forgot how many awesome places there are here. i love PA.

this has been one of my favorite songs currently, i guess. it's a really good reminder. no matter how alone we feel, no matter how beaten down i feel, no matter how much i feel like giving up, no matter how tired i am, i'm not alone. Jesus is there. he carries me. all the way. he catches me when i fall. he never leaves me alone.

Summer

this summer didn’t exactly go as I planned. or hoped. but isn’t that kind of how things go?

some stuff was kind of rather very awesome.

~my job ended out working out a whole lot better than I thought it would

~ being in a different environment all summer

~random ice fights at work
~learning that there are times when it is totally ok and appropriate to end up sitting on the floor because you're laughing so hard
~being the crazy one at work

~ definitely, the best part was having a certain friendship become one of the best things of my life

then there were some of the more “meh” things.

~like CPS getting involved in my life (that’s another whole blog post)

~not getting to spend time outside

~almost drowning in Lake Michigan (hmm…last time I was there, we jumped off a ~25’ pier and this year, I almost drown in the beach part.)

~sticking a box cutter into my pinkie and severing a nerve….all while trying to cut open a box of chicken

and then there are the unclassifiable things

~like spending the majority of my summer in a tired, HYYYYYPEEERRRRR, semi-confused, dazed state of mind and being

~learning you can slip on a wet floor and sprain your knee, then resprain it later

~realizing that after wearing green and khaki 6 days a week, your brain automatically chooses those colors

after all the craziness of this summer, part of me thinks this winter is also going to have its adventures….

actually, I *know* it is.

but God is good. and i'm going to make it.

Army?

i'm finally facing reality and realizing that my dreams are just that--dreams. they won't happen. i need to be realistic about my future. yea, being President would be awesome. but let's be realistic. it's not going to happen. same with other dreams. becoming a k-9 bloodhound SAR trainer, and paramedic, specializing in dealing with drugs. running for Congress. being in politics all my life.

that's why i'm seriously considering joining the U.S. Army.

i have reasons.

1. i want to serve my country.

2. i've dreamed about doing it for years--since i was like 5.

3. i want to prove that i can do it.

4. i want to show that you can be in the military and still be a lady.

5. i want to show that being a female and in the military is honorable.

6. i want to do something honorable with my life.

7. for the experience and discipline.
8. it's a good way to "rebel" without it being wrong or doing anything stupid.
9. it'll give me a good foundation for anything else in life.

but i'm not totally sure what to do now. i wanted to do Army ROTC while in college...but right now, it's looking like i won't be going to college. maybe not even finishing high school. i'd like to get my GED and join right now, but i'm not old enough. and that would have me entering at the lowest level of the Army, which really wouldn't be cool. so i'm kind of stuck.

i need to fail somewhere. i have this thing for being able to bounce back from anything pretty well. sometime it's not going to happen. it might as well happen with my schoolwork. with highschool. and i might as well show everyone i won't always meet their expectations. at least in joining the Army, some people will support it.

 i'm waiting for some replies from friends in the Army and Navy who would be able to give me some experienced advice. hopefully what they say will give me some more of an idea of what to do...

some of my friends fully support me. others are ok with it, although it's not what they would choose. family does not. but then again, nothing is ok with the family. so that doesn't really matter in what i decide.

why Army? it's basically the hardest physically, other than the Marines. it has the longest deployments. it's the biggest branch of the armed forces.

"you couldn't deal with all the yelling and being pushed around in the military." wanna see? "you'll be teased forever about being so short." nothing new. i can deal with it. "girls can't be in the military." i can.

growing up is hard. thinking through my future is hard. it's kind of not cool. 

these are just a few thoughts of mine on this. i might write more later. we shall see.