life continues on...

life's really actually pretty easy right now. my life consists of doing 42+ hours of school, chores, church, the occasional run and being a klutz. as usual. ......uh. yeah. i need to get involved in another campaign. and yet it feels mad crazy busy. what is up with this?

oh yeah. then there's the big decisions to make. the pondering of stuff. {111 days til i'm 18. aahhh!!!!} the praying and searching. debating stuff, tossing ideas about life around. dreaming. hoping. wishing.

and school. i'm officially convinced that it's the government's plan to try to kill us all and make the earth go extinct. {don't tell them that it's not working too well... the world's ending this year anyhow.}





  anyhow. i found one of my new hobbies. going to this place. climbing on these rocks. {having a few heart-stopping slips.} and not dying. they say the not dying part is good...if you've ever been to Gettysburg, it's kind of like some of the rock formations there, but almost better. the indians went up here for many years and used it for "spying." you can see for miles.

after climbing up the front side of this, we then realized that there was a back side which might have been safer to go up....so we got pics from that side.

michelle is my reenacting buddy and we've decided to go exploring together. she says my dare-devil-ness makes her do more stuff...

i fell off the top of that...landed on a ledge and was like "oh, i'll take a pic." {there was a good many feet to fall after that, had i fallen more.}

this is the cliff that i slipped off the top of...

this is looking down from one of the huge rock formations

i discovered that this place is awesome to go to if you want to work on getting over fear of heights...and hope to go back sometime kind of soon. we shall see. it's amazing how much fun you can have outside in your area. i forgot how many awesome places there are here. i love PA.

this has been one of my favorite songs currently, i guess. it's a really good reminder. no matter how alone we feel, no matter how beaten down i feel, no matter how much i feel like giving up, no matter how tired i am, i'm not alone. Jesus is there. he carries me. all the way. he catches me when i fall. he never leaves me alone.

stability

i like stability. not necessarily routine, but stability. it gives me a sense of security. so i work my life out, til everything seems relatively stable. my schedule, where i keep thing, how my drawers & closet are organized, even down to who is on speed dial and in what order.

then something messes it up.

~i find out something that i considered just an annoyance was kind of serious.

~not being able to keep up with deadlines and expectations.

~being pulled out of Awana.

~getting my phone confiscated.

small things. but they throw off my sense of security--making me feel small and exposed, weak and confused, lost...anything but secure.

then i wake up, and "Strong Tower" pops into my head, and i hum it all morning. it gets me to thinking about this:

"for he will hide me in his shelter

in the day of trouble;

he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;

he will lift me high upon a rock.

the Lord is my strength and my shield;

in him my heart trusts, and i am helped;

my heart exults,

and with my song i give thanks to him.

the Lord is the strength of his people;

he is the saving refuge of his anointed.

God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

cast your burden on the Lord,

and he will sustain you;

he will never permit

the righteous to be moved.

when i am afraid,

i put my trust in you.

 in God, whose word i praise,

in God i trust; i shall not be afraid.

what can flesh do to me?

from the end of the earth i call to you

when my heart is faint.

lead me to the rock

that is higher than i,

for you have been my refuge,

a strong tower against the enemy.

 for God alone my soul waits in silence;

from him comes my salvation.

he alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; i shall not be greatly shaken."

{Psalms 27:5, 28:7-8, 46:1, 55:22, 56:3-4,61:2-3, 62:1-2

i'm not secure on my own and nothing i can do will make me secure. i can't be. i'm human. not invincible. {as much as i like to think i am...} often when we set up our lives so they seem perfect, we are just setting ourselves up for disaster, like dominoes. one part gets knocked over and everything else follows. 


that's why we have God as our refuge, our stronghold, our rock. our security. he's here and he's not leaving. no matter what. when everything is a mess, God's here. when everything's perfect, God's here. he's unchanging.


he gives the strength we need.


i'm going to start trusting God more. he knows what he's doing.