stability

i like stability. not necessarily routine, but stability. it gives me a sense of security. so i work my life out, til everything seems relatively stable. my schedule, where i keep thing, how my drawers & closet are organized, even down to who is on speed dial and in what order.

then something messes it up.

~i find out something that i considered just an annoyance was kind of serious.

~not being able to keep up with deadlines and expectations.

~being pulled out of Awana.

~getting my phone confiscated.

small things. but they throw off my sense of security--making me feel small and exposed, weak and confused, lost...anything but secure.

then i wake up, and "Strong Tower" pops into my head, and i hum it all morning. it gets me to thinking about this:

"for he will hide me in his shelter

in the day of trouble;

he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;

he will lift me high upon a rock.

the Lord is my strength and my shield;

in him my heart trusts, and i am helped;

my heart exults,

and with my song i give thanks to him.

the Lord is the strength of his people;

he is the saving refuge of his anointed.

God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

cast your burden on the Lord,

and he will sustain you;

he will never permit

the righteous to be moved.

when i am afraid,

i put my trust in you.

 in God, whose word i praise,

in God i trust; i shall not be afraid.

what can flesh do to me?

from the end of the earth i call to you

when my heart is faint.

lead me to the rock

that is higher than i,

for you have been my refuge,

a strong tower against the enemy.

 for God alone my soul waits in silence;

from him comes my salvation.

he alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; i shall not be greatly shaken."

{Psalms 27:5, 28:7-8, 46:1, 55:22, 56:3-4,61:2-3, 62:1-2

i'm not secure on my own and nothing i can do will make me secure. i can't be. i'm human. not invincible. {as much as i like to think i am...} often when we set up our lives so they seem perfect, we are just setting ourselves up for disaster, like dominoes. one part gets knocked over and everything else follows. 


that's why we have God as our refuge, our stronghold, our rock. our security. he's here and he's not leaving. no matter what. when everything is a mess, God's here. when everything's perfect, God's here. he's unchanging.


he gives the strength we need.


i'm going to start trusting God more. he knows what he's doing.