I get so tired. So tired that some days, I wake up and forget to get out of bed. So tired that I can't get any schoolwork done because my brain refuses to register what I've read. It's all in the name of trying to pay the bills and get to a place where I'm not drowning financially.
It just won't stop. It's as if life is a cycle: work to pay for food and housing so you can work... You work to live and live to work. That's all there is. What's the point? Kids finish school so they can be adults, become adults and live to avoid death for as long as possible.
I asked God to provide. I asked God for wisdom and guidance and provision and it seems like all he does is laugh in my face and make stuff more difficult. Why? Why can't it be apparent that he's on my side? If he really cares, why doesn't he show that? Why doesn't he show up? What happened to the "ask and it will be given to you.." Or the "seek and you will find"? I've been doing both to no avail. How long does it take? If what people say and God cares about everything, down to the little things, why doesn't he show that?
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