Trusting God?

this whole trusting God thing is getting really discouraging. I mean, I chose to move, thinking that it was what he wanted. Since then, he's seemed every further away. God never really seemed that close to me and I had hoped that moving would help change that. Now that I've moved, I'm really starting to question both God and moving.

It sure seems like God gives me the opposite of what I ask for. Matthew 7:8-11 says "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" It's talking about a father giving his son the opposite of what was asked for. It sure feels like God is doing that to me though. It sucks.

I hear and am prayed for that I will trust God...but if he's worth trusting, why doesn't he show that to me? Why doesn't he show me that he's the father who blesses with good gifts? Why doesn't he make himself real to me and show me who he really is?


I don't know. I wish I did.