stability

i like stability. not necessarily routine, but stability. it gives me a sense of security. so i work my life out, til everything seems relatively stable. my schedule, where i keep thing, how my drawers & closet are organized, even down to who is on speed dial and in what order.

then something messes it up.

~i find out something that i considered just an annoyance was kind of serious.

~not being able to keep up with deadlines and expectations.

~being pulled out of Awana.

~getting my phone confiscated.

small things. but they throw off my sense of security--making me feel small and exposed, weak and confused, lost...anything but secure.

then i wake up, and "Strong Tower" pops into my head, and i hum it all morning. it gets me to thinking about this:

"for he will hide me in his shelter

in the day of trouble;

he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;

he will lift me high upon a rock.

the Lord is my strength and my shield;

in him my heart trusts, and i am helped;

my heart exults,

and with my song i give thanks to him.

the Lord is the strength of his people;

he is the saving refuge of his anointed.

God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

cast your burden on the Lord,

and he will sustain you;

he will never permit

the righteous to be moved.

when i am afraid,

i put my trust in you.

 in God, whose word i praise,

in God i trust; i shall not be afraid.

what can flesh do to me?

from the end of the earth i call to you

when my heart is faint.

lead me to the rock

that is higher than i,

for you have been my refuge,

a strong tower against the enemy.

 for God alone my soul waits in silence;

from him comes my salvation.

he alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; i shall not be greatly shaken."

{Psalms 27:5, 28:7-8, 46:1, 55:22, 56:3-4,61:2-3, 62:1-2

i'm not secure on my own and nothing i can do will make me secure. i can't be. i'm human. not invincible. {as much as i like to think i am...} often when we set up our lives so they seem perfect, we are just setting ourselves up for disaster, like dominoes. one part gets knocked over and everything else follows. 


that's why we have God as our refuge, our stronghold, our rock. our security. he's here and he's not leaving. no matter what. when everything is a mess, God's here. when everything's perfect, God's here. he's unchanging.


he gives the strength we need.


i'm going to start trusting God more. he knows what he's doing.

Values Voter Summit

okay.

i’m excited.

like, really really excited. like uber excited. in 3 weeks, is the Family Research Council’s Values Voter Summit. and I get to go student staff for the second year.

basically, my job is to stand near the entrance of the hotel (inside) and direct the 1500-2000 lost people towards the right direction, then attempt to explain to them how to get to the right place they’re looking for. it sounds boring, but it’s so epically amazing. last year, i got into a pretty intense debate with some SCOTUS  lawyers {Supreme Court} about the Parental Rights Amendment and morals that all started with the silly bands i was wearing. a lady went out and bought me a banana because she was worried about my potassium level.  i helpessly watched the FRC duck fall down the stairs (he was ok). oh yes. i made friends with the Duggar’s bodyguard. like, the Duggars from “19 Kids & Counting.” yup. that was cool. i helped Mike Huckabee get unlost from the labyrinth also known as the Omni Shoreham of DC.

VVS 2010 student staff team--Esther, Noelle, Timothy, Elizabeth, Felix, Nicole & Kristi

and i learned that if you hear someone yell “MEDIA!!!!!” that means to move out of the main path, stat, otherwise reporters bearing cameras will throw you into the nearest wall. yeah. then there's the gala...which is interesting. somehow, standing for 12-15 hrs a day straight adds to the amazingness of it all--which i have yet to figure out how that works. maybe it's the adrenaline that kicks in to keep you running.

anyhow. this year, Ron Paul’s going to be there. i'm kind of excited because 2012 will be my first election to vote in and he's looking like the best choice so far. (that's for another post, probably after VVS.) Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, Lila Rose, John Boehner, Ken Cuccinelli, Mitt Romney and a bunch of other big name people will be there too. it should prove to be interesting...

all that to say—VVS may not sound like it’s all that great. but I’m insanely excited for it. it's amazing and it starts in 20 days. yeeeah buddy!! some of last year's team is coming back, and we're welcoming some new members this year. so yeah! DC, prepare for more rockstar awesomeness.

{yes, this is all kind of random. meet noelle young. especially when she's tired..}

Awana

starting september 2008, Awana has been my life. 9 months of the year, my Quiz book has practically always been within reach. every tuesday and wednesday for 7-9 months was devoted to Awana.

my life kind of revolved around Awana.

Awana kept me going quite often.

I learned some of my best lessons from it, have some of my best memories from Awana.

and then there was Summit~~Awana nationals. best week of my year, no question about it. {okay, so Generations Joshua Student Action Teams are a close second. so is Values Voter Summit...}

Summit is awesome. you prepare for the better part of a year for it with your team. as a team, you go through moments of borderline hating each other.you go through insane stress an high tempers at times. you get to Summit and realize just how close of a team you are.

then you realize~~you aren't just a team. you're a family.

you win together. you lose together. you succeed together. you mess up together. you laugh so hard you can't breathe. you cry with disappointment. you pray together. everything you do, you remind each other that it's for God's glory. as medals are placed around your neck, you cry together again from stress, happiness, sheer exhaustion, joy, pride and thankfulness. you see each other at your absolute best moments. and you see each other at your absolute worst moments.

for some of us, the Grace Bible Church, Hollidaysburg PA Awana team is our only real family....

3rd place in the nation for AwanaGames

and then, you're told you can't go back. that you're done with the team. that your parents won't let you return.

"WHAT???"

immediately, a bunch of dreams go up in flames...
~getting your Citation at Summit
~getting to the Platinum round of Quiz
~getting 1st in Games
~another, final year with your family, the team

everything i practically own is somehow related to Awana... down to my shoes. medals are hanging by my bed. medals and trrophies and certificates in the schoolroom. medals, certificates, pictures, ribbons, everything is hanging in my area of the attic. even my bible sitting next to me was chosen specifically for Awana Bible Quiz....

i miss Awana. i feel so lost without it. it was what really helped me get to know God, to learn about him, and allowed me to be around other strong christians...

i've missed it so much over summer, but hey, it was ok 'cause i was going to go back in september.

but apparently God has other plans for this year. His ways are best.

but that doesn't meant that it doesn't hurt...i took down most of my Awana stuff today because seeing the stuff all over just hurt worse. i had to blink back tears while packing it up, but it's ok. it'll be ok.

i'll leave 12 or so medals up, in the attic and next to my bed. and a few pics. oh, and the 30 yds of Games tape that I was wrapped in...good memories.

someday, i'm going to unpack my Awana stuff and display it. but for now, it looks like it's time to just move on. when God moves us past something, it's for a good reason, and usually for something better...i can't imagine what. but i'll trust his plan.

{this song has been stuck in my head a lot. the Daniel Doss Band came to Summit my first year~~they hold a special place in my heart.}