Tammy

so my big sis is here today. Sarah. we went training with the bloodhounds today, ate dinner and then went to the cemetary. it was cold. and windy. raining off and on--more sprinkling. altogether, not weather that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. that was ok.

we walked across the cemetary, and started walking up and down rows of graves. the wind was cold. the sky grayish. and we kept walking. looking. and looking. we stopped, and called the office, who couldn't help us.

we kept searching, basically done. then on a whim, i walked back through the field, to a little field kind of hidden.

there it was. the grave of my best friend. Tammy A. Shaw. it doesn't seem real, to see the grave of your best friend.

part of me can't believe she's still gone. a lot of me can't. and finally visiting her grave opened up that pain again. but i'm so glad, so very glad we went. i miss her like crazy.

the weather looks and feels like i do inside...

suicide hurts.